vineri, 31 octombrie 2014

The Secret

I am really  happy & fulfilled in my marriage.

But the thing is... it hasn't always been easy.

I want to tell Bogdan that: "Thank you. Thank you for choosing THIS life. Life with me. Kids with me. Mess with me. All of it. Thank you.
Thank you for choosing me back when it was harder. Thanks for sticking with me."

The thing about marriage is that at any moment either one can just check out. Or just choose a different life all together. So, in a way, everyday is a choice. Today I choose you. THIS life. These kids and this house.

I have been married to  Bogdan for 15 years.
15 years and we have changed so much. 15 years in which we both changed and grew and understood each other better. Just getting better and better. Easier or harder along the way. We are still learning and growing and changing. Still balancing work, kids, and finding time to connect day after day. Communication is very importnat. I have to admit that sometimes we have lost the connection. But we regain it and we try to be aware of the moments we lose it.

Some friends asked me lately what is the secret of our marriage, how we can be so close after so many years, three kids and well… a life behind. Ruth Bell Graham told it better than me: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Two good forgivers that love each other so much and so deeply, this is my opinion. So, this is the SECRET: to love and to be loved. And to forgive.

I thought (before marriage) that when I got married I would no longer be so easy to hurt. That I will feel more secure and safe. It took me a long way to discover that the strenght was in me alt this time, that has nothing to do with anybody else, that I am the only one who can stand up for myself.

I have since learned that no matter how many times he tells me what I want to hear, the answer is within me. Meaning that I have to love myself. To trust myself. To be myself. He can't do it for me.

I am thankful for him. 
Thankful that we chose eachother. Thankful for THIS life. 
This life with him by my side.
Thankful for the hard times he chose me. This life. Our life.
Because I know what I chose.

vineri, 24 octombrie 2014

Let's Celebrate!

My dear husband, 

It's been fifteen years since we said YES in front of people and in front of God. We had our good and our bad moments, much more good than bad, I have to say.

The bad was really bad, but the good was amazingly wonderful.

A short reminder of our best moments, and I’m sorry I have only my words with me, as I write this in an airport, on my way to meet you and my beloved Lisbon. I guess I'll need to edit it later and to insert the pictures, too.

1999, October 24th. Our wedding waltz was wonderful and in the end, you took me in your arms and spinned with me, like there was no end and no beginning.

Runa’s birth, on 17th of March, 2001. You drove a long way home, to see your first daughter, and brought me roses in the middle of the night.

Our trip to Thailand, the very next year. It was our first trip abroad together, and we couldn’t believe our eyes. So much unconscious love.

The fifth anniversary of our marriage, in Prague, more aware this time, setting the traveling tradition for our next ten October celebrations.

Mara’s birth, on the 25th of January,  2006, wow!  Twenty degrees below zero,  at 5’o clock in the morning, with all those blankets over me in the car and shopping for a heater the next day right after her birth, so we could stay with our wonderful daughter in the hospital reserve.

New Year’s Eve in Salzburg, in 2007-2008. The girls on ice, the music from the 80's, the Salzburger Souppe. After nine months, our son Radu arrived in this world.:) That day you should have had your job interview in London, but you didn't get on that plane, just to be there with me and our baby boy. The next day you had the interview and took the job.

After only three weeks we moved into a new house, where I had to unpack the 42 boxes, with a newborn baby, one toddler and one schoolgirl, while you took a holiday in America. Very well deserved, I should say. Now I think it was kind of tough, then I thought it was all right.

Your heart attack in 2009 changed our lives for a while, but soon we got kind of trapped in our intense style of living. Work and holidays, kids and quite little time for ourselves. We felt (I’m almost sure you did, too) like in a rat race, making efforts to see each other, to keep our attention focused, to give our relation time to renew. We did that by traveling together, even for a short while, going out on our traditional Friday movie date, paying attention at what we talk, talking every evening about how our days went... Since you work abroad our time together is less, but we tried to make the most of it, especially in the last three months.

And let's remember again the beautiful trips of October:
Prague 2004, USA 2005 (only you :), but I went to Mallorca with Runa and Mara in my belly, just because I could), Rome 2006, London 2007, USA 2008 (again you alone), Andalusia 2009, USA 2010, Extremadura 2011, Lisbon 2012, Porto 2013. Wow!

Five more years later, celebrating today, I can tell you what I like most about our marriage and hope to last at least fifteen more years from now:

We laugh together (and I want to laugh even more)

We can read each other's mind

We hold each other tight, so tight we cannot breath

We kiss with passion every time we see

We spend time with our kids, support and show them our love (for them and for us)

We still kiss before each meal, as we did since forever

We support each other's passions and hobbies

We trust each other

We love each other

Happy Anniversary, Bogdan!

joi, 16 octombrie 2014

What I Like

I like the smell of the ocean, the sand under my feet, i like to be touched by the wind and waves, I like a good cup of coffee, the taste of raspberries, the sound of my children's laughter, and the feeling of being fully alive.